Transfering merits
This is a tradition I have heard in Thailand: Many men become monk for a few months in order to transfer merits to his parents and so they can go to heaven. If I'm not mistaken the Buddha said you could only transfer merits for ghosts (according to teacher Dhammavvuddho Thero), it is not possible to transfer merits from man to man. Is it? Any text to help? I may be wrong so I appreciate the explanations.
In Respect of the Triple Gems, Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha, in Respect of the Elders of the community , my person tries to answer this question. Please, may all knowledgeable Venerables and Dhammika, out of compassion, correct my person, if something is not correct and fill also graps, if something is missing.
Migrated from here Mr Konrad, they (the children) would "transfer" merits to their parents, if the parents rejoice with meritorious deeds of the certain child. Sharing merits means to give others the chance to take part in a way to feel
mudita (appreciation with the goodness developed by one self and others) with their deeds.
So its simply up to the parents, or others to take on the chance.
In the case of parents it is, if one really renounces so, that they have certain reason to think about the way their beloved goes, mostly against their wishes. Having the case of
dukkha present and mostly a certain try to understand the reason, which leads to investigation to the Buddhas teachings, can be a good cause for them to actually gain merits also it they do not rejoice at the first moment, even mostly higher gaining, since most who simply believe that their son does something good for them, does not necessary be founded on certain right view. So such motivated rejoice of being a beneficer can even lead to demerits.
So while the case of renouncing just to make merits for the parents (which is btw. not a righteous reason for living of alms and wearing the robe) is seldom of much transcendent fruits, a renunciation out of righteous reason, can be of much fruits for both.
To understand the way of transferring, or better sharing, one needs to understand that
mudita or sometimes as sympathetic joy, needs to be a joy with something, that is worthy of appreciation (developed goodness, merit) and not something like being happy that one has a new care, that is the transferring of or share of pleasure, which stays in Samsara.
In how far the sharing of merits within an environment is that actually focuses on accumulation of possess in form of knowledge and maybe overstep once precepts and resolves another time, making it based on the believe that such is made on trust, one needs to reflect for oneself as well as to do every thing possible to give the conditions to be able to get the share of Dhamma in line of Dhamma for one self available, as possible it could be performed. The sharing of merits, acknowledgement of deeds which lead to entanglement, is not very welcome in a world that is caught in amassing and bind each other together. So it's hurtful for them, in there objectives and wrong views.
Practicing Dhamma in line of Dhamma is not easy even impossible in that what is called boarder lands, or in a association of people who put wordily gains always on first place and after it the Dhamma.
"These three things have been promulgated by wise people, by people of integrity. Which three? Generosity... going-forth [from the home life]... & service to one's mother & father. .. - AN 3.45 translated from Pali by Ven. Thanissaro Bhikkhu
So it cuts off the possible joy for your self, if there is no receiver of shared merits, but how ever, if one informs the Devas, and sometimes they dwell even on such places, the message will be forwarded, given one can maintain enough confidence that there are many beings between sky and earth.
Let us dedicate the merits, done Dhammatalk here
Puññassidāni katassa
Yānaññāni katāni me
Tesañca bhāgino hontu
Sattānantāppamāṇaka.
May all beings — without limit, without end —
have a share in the merit just now made,
and in whatever other merit I have made.
Ye piyā guṇavantā ca
Mayhaṃ mātā-pitādayo
Diṭṭhā me cāpyadiṭṭhā vā
Aññe majjhatta-verino;
Those who are dear & kind to me —
beginning with my mother & father —
whom I have seen or never seen;
and others, neutral or hostile;
Sattā tiṭṭhanti lokasmiṃ
Te-bhummā catu-yonikā
Pañc'eka-catuvokārā
Saṃsarantā bhavābhave:
beings established in the cosmos —
the three realms, the four modes of birth,
with five, one, or four aggregates —
wandering on from realm to realm:
Ñātaṃ ye pattidānam-me
Anumodantu te sayaṃ
Ye cimaṃ nappajānanti
Devā tesaṃ nivedayuṃ.
If they know of my dedication of merit,
may they themselves rejoice,
And if they do not know,
may the devas inform them.
Mayā dinnāna-puññānaṃ
Anumodana-hetunā
Sabbe sattā sadā hontu
Averā sukha-jīvino
By reason of their rejoicing
in my gift of merit,
may all beings always live happily,
free from animosity.
Khemappadañca pappontu
Tesāsā sijjhataṃ subhā.
May they attain the Serene State,
and their radiant hopes be fulfilled.
Anumodana!