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Talkbox

Like when enter or join, a shrine, another's sphere, or back: good for greating, bye, veneration, short talks, quick help. Some infos on regards .


2024 Mar 18 21:42:50
blazer:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2024 Mar 18 19:43:59
Dhammañāṇa: Mudita, Nyom.

2024 Mar 18 19:36:35
blazer: Bhante Dhammañāṇa  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ Undertaking this Sila day at my best.

2024 Mar 18 06:17:10
Dhammañāṇa: Those who undertake the Sila day today: may it be of much metta.

2024 Mar 18 02:16:41
blazer:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2024 Mar 17 21:09:31
អរិយវង្ស: 🚬🚬🚬

2024 Mar 17 06:30:53
Dhammañāṇa: Metta-full Sila day, those after it today.

2024 Mar 17 00:02:34
blazer: Bhante Dhammañāṇa  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2024 Mar 11 09:16:04
Dhammañāṇa: Once totally caught by google, AI and machines, every door has been closed for long, long term.

2024 Mar 11 09:14:04
Dhammañāṇa: People at large just wait that another would do his/her duty. Once a slight door to run back, they are gone. By going again just for debts, the wheel of running away turns on.

2024 Mar 10 18:59:10
Dhammañāṇa: Less are those who don't use the higher Dhamma not for defilement-defence, less those who don't throw the basics away and turn back to sensuality "with ease".

2024 Mar 10 06:51:11
Dhammañāṇa: A auspicious new-moon Uposatha for those observing it today.

2024 Mar 09 06:34:39
Dhammañāṇa: A blessed New-moon Uposatha, and birth reminder day of a monarchy of wonders.

2024 Mar 08 21:39:54
Dhammañāṇa: The best way to keep an Ashram silent is to put always duties and Sila high. If wishing it populated, put meditation (eating) on the first place.

2024 Mar 03 21:27:27
Dhammañāṇa: May those undertaking the Sila day today, spend it off in best ways, similar those who go after the days purpose tomorrow.

2024 Feb 25 22:10:33
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2024 Feb 24 06:42:35
Dhammañāṇa: A blessed Māgha Pūjā and Full moon Uposatha with much reason for good recallings of goodness.

2024 Feb 24 01:50:55
blazer: Bhante Dhammañāṇa  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2024 Feb 23 06:39:57
Dhammañāṇa: Nyom

2024 Feb 23 00:19:58
blazer: Taken flu again... at least leg pain has been better managed since many weeks and it's the greatest benefit. Hope Bhante Dhammañāṇa is fine  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2024 Feb 18 01:06:43
blazer:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2024 Feb 18 00:02:37
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2024 Feb 17 18:47:31
Dhammañāṇa: A blessed rest of todays Sila-day.

2024 Feb 17 18:46:59
Dhammañāṇa: Chau Marco, chau...

2024 Feb 16 23:32:59
blazer: Just ended important burocratic and medical stuff. I will check for a flight for Cambodia soon  _/\_

2024 Feb 09 16:08:32
blazer:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2024 Feb 09 12:17:31
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2024 Feb 09 06:42:17
Dhammañāṇa: May all spend a blessed New moon Uposatha and last day of the Chinese year of the rabbit, entering the Year of the Naga wisely.

2024 Feb 02 21:17:28
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2024 Feb 02 19:53:28
Dhammañāṇa: May all have the possibility to spend a pleasing rest of Sila day, having given goodness and spend a faultless day.

2024 Jan 26 14:40:25
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2024 Jan 25 10:02:46
Dhammañāṇa: May all spend a blessed Full moon Uposatha.

2024 Jan 11 06:37:21
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2024 Jan 07 06:31:20
Dhammañāṇa: May many, by skilful deeds,  go for real and lasting independence today

2024 Jan 06 18:00:36
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2024 Jan 04 16:57:17
blazer:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2024 Jan 04 12:33:08
Dhammañāṇa: A blessed Sila-day, full of metta in thoughts, speech and deeds.

2023 Dec 30 20:21:07
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Dec 27 23:18:38
Dhammañāṇa: May the rest of a bright full moon Uposatha serve many as a blessed day of good deeds.

2023 Dec 26 23:12:17
blazer:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Dec 24 16:52:50
Dhammañāṇa: May all who celebrated the birth of their prophet, declaring them his ideas of reaching the Brahma realm, spend peaceful days with family and reflect the goodness near around them, virtuous, generously.

2023 Dec 20 21:36:37
blazer:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Dec 20 06:54:09
Dhammañāṇa: A blessed Sila day, by conducting in peacefull manners.

2023 Dec 12 23:45:24
blazer:  _/\_

2023 Dec 12 20:34:26
Dhammañāṇa: choice, yes  :)

2023 Dec 12 13:23:35
blazer: If meaning freedom of choice i understand and agree

2023 Dec 12 12:48:42
blazer:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Dec 12 06:13:23
Dhammañāṇa: May all spend a great New Moon Uposatha, following the conducts of the Arahats.

2023 Dec 10 12:51:16
Dhammañāṇa: The more freedom of joice, the more troubled in regard of what's right, what's wrong. My person does not say that people at large are prepared for freedom of joice even a little.

2023 Dec 10 10:59:42
blazer: Hope they eat more mindfully than how they talk. It is clear for the gross food, we had more than a talk about this topic. I have put so much effort in mindful eating at the temple, but when i was back i wanted more refined food. I was used to get a choice of more than 10 dishes every day

2023 Dec 10 06:57:44
Dhammañāṇa: A person eating on unskilled thoughts will last defiled, Nyom. Gross food does nothing for purification at all.

2023 Dec 09 21:41:58
blazer: I've had a couple of not nice experiences with monks that were not so pure in my opinion. They surely eat far better than me at temple.

2023 Dec 09 21:41:41
blazer: Ven. Johann  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Dec 09 11:38:36
Dhammañāṇa: Spiritual prostitution, just another way of livelihood.

2023 Dec 05 20:59:38
Dhammañāṇa: May all spend a pleasing rest of Sila-day.

2023 Nov 27 14:47:22
អរិយវង្ស:   _/\_ _/\__/\_

2023 Nov 27 05:41:32
Dhammañāṇa: May all spend a blessed Anapanasati- Fullmoon and reflect the goodness of Ven Sāriputta as well today.

2023 Nov 20 19:18:13
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Nov 20 18:20:15
Dhammañāṇa: May all spend a pleasing rest of Sila-day.

2023 Nov 20 02:48:24
Moritz: Hello _/\_ Still possible to join: An-other Journey into the East 2023/24

2023 Nov 18 13:55:11
blazer: Hello everyone  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Nov 12 01:09:01
Dhammañāṇa: Nyom

2023 Nov 12 00:45:21
Moritz: Vandami Bhante _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Nov 09 19:42:10
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Nov 09 07:17:02
Dhammañāṇa: សិលា​នាំ​ទៅ​រក​ឯករាជ្យ​នៃ​ជាតិ! សូមឱ្យមនុស្សជាច្រើនប្រារព្ធទិវាឯករាជ្យ(ពី)ជាតិ។

2023 Nov 09 07:06:56
Dhammañāṇa: Sila leads to independence of Jati! May many observe a conductive Independence day.

2023 Nov 07 00:54:02
Dhammañāṇa: Nyoum

2023 Nov 07 00:39:55
Moritz: Vandami Bhante _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Nov 06 15:47:51
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Nov 06 12:21:27
Dhammañāṇa: A blessed Sila observation day today.

2023 Oct 30 15:17:36
Dhammañāṇa: It's common in to give up that what's given to do assist me toward release, common that seeking security in what binds.

2023 Oct 30 13:22:27
អរិយវង្ស: ព្រះអង្គ :) កូណាលុប delta chat ហើយ :D _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Oct 23 18:56:09
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Oct 22 20:36:01
Dhammañāṇa: May all spend a pleasing rest of this Sila-day.

2023 Oct 19 20:31:12
Dhammañāṇa: Nyom Sreyneang

2023 Oct 15 07:07:01
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Oct 14 06:53:21
Dhammañāṇa: May all spend a New moon Uposatha based on goodwill for all, find seclusion in the middle of family duties.

2023 Sep 29 07:35:30
blazer:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Sep 29 07:23:47
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Sep 29 07:03:11
Dhammañāṇa: A blessed full moon Uposatha and begin of the ancestor weeks by lived metta and virtue: lived gratitude toward all being, toward one self.

2023 Sep 22 22:07:43
Dhammañāṇa: If no rush turn toward reducing sensuality and make Silas the top of priority, it's to fear that an Atomic conflic will be chosen soon, in the battle of control of the "drugs".

2023 Sep 22 14:59:39
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Sep 22 06:35:51
Dhammañāṇa: A blessed Uposatha Observance on this Sila-day, by conducting similar the Arahats.

2023 Sep 16 19:29:27
blazer: Ven. Johann  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Sep 16 19:29:13
blazer: Hello everyone! I've just come back home. I had a long trip and no sleep for more than 30 hours, but currently feel quite good. I've had a good experience, i'm happy. I've found out much inspiration and many ideas about the training and the holy life. I'll recollect and write about them as soon as i've taken some rest. Hope to find you all well and in good health  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Sep 15 05:25:24
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Sep 14 21:09:49
Dhammañāṇa: A blessed rest of New moon Uposatha today (later as no connection before).

2023 Sep 10 01:55:47
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_?

2023 Sep 09 18:52:54
Dhammañāṇa: No existence, no 'way of life', can excel the finally journey, just 'busy' in given away all of what ever made one's own. A total remorse-less existence. May many go for it, and see the way toward the deathless, no more worry of past, future and present as well.

2023 Sep 09 18:52:28
Dhammañāṇa: No existence, no 'way of life', can excel the finally journey, just 'busy' in given away all of what ever made one's own. A total remorse-less existence. May many go for it, and see the way toward the deathless, no more worry of past, future and present as well.

2023 Sep 08 06:19:20
Dhammañāṇa: A blessed Sila day, by maintaining goodwill toward all, not only by deeds and speech, but with nine factors, incl. a mind full of metta.

2023 Sep 01 10:54:43
អរិយវង្ស: សាធុ សាធុ សាធុ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Sep 01 09:21:09
Dhammañāṇa:  “This verse was stated by earlier worthy ones, fully self-awakened:    Freedom from disease: the foremost good fortune. Unbinding: the foremost ease. The eightfold: the foremost of paths going to the Deathless, Secure.

2023 Sep 01 09:19:23
Dhammañāṇa: 'Ārogyaparamā lābhā nibbānaṃ paramaṃ sukhaṃ, Aṭṭhaṅgiko ca maggānaṃ khemaṃ amatagāmina'nti.   អារោគ្យបរមា លាភា និព្ពានំ បរមំ សុខំ អដ្ថងិកោ ច មគ្គានំ ខេមំ អមតគាមិន នតិ។  លាភទាំងឡាយ មានការមិនមានរោគ ដ៏ប្រសើរបំផុត ព្រះនិព្វាន ជាសុខដ៏ឧត្តម មគ្គប្រកបដោយអង្គ៨ ដ៏ក្សេមក្សាន្តជាងមគ្គទាំងឡាយ សម្រាប់ដំណើរ ទៅកាន់​ព្រះនិព្វាន ឈ្មោះអមតៈ។

2023 Aug 31 06:30:11
អរិយវង្ស: សាធុ សាធុ សាធុ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Aug 31 06:08:15
Dhammañāṇa: A blessed Fullmoon Uposatha, following the Arahats conducts.

2023 Aug 30 20:19:25
Dhammañāṇa: Nyom

2023 Aug 30 18:39:38
blazer: Hello everyone  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Aug 24 19:56:43
Dhammañāṇa: Sadhu, Sadhu and mudita

2023 Aug 24 19:45:08
អរិយវង្ស: កូណា បាននាំគ្រួសាររក្សាសីល8ក្នុងថ្ងៃនេះ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_😌

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Author Topic: [Q&A] Is changing your mind same as lying? Breaking promises  (Read 2440 times)

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Offline Dhammañāṇa

  • Bhikkhu
  • Very Engaged Member
  • *
  • Sadhu! or +417/-0
  • Gender: Male
  • (Samana Johann)
  • Date of ordination/Datum der Ordination.: 20140527 Upasampadā 20240110
Is changing your mind same as lying? Breaking promises

Quote from: asked by Digity on DW
Suppose someone asks you to do something that you're on the fence about doing, but you agree to it anyway. Now suppose time passes and you regret the initial agreement and decide not to follow through on it, but give some sort of explanation for why you aren't. Do you consider that a form of lying, since you told the person something that you didn't follow through on?

In short:

Yes, breaking promis is unskilfull and a misconduct in regard of virtue.

If done deliberatly it's a classic ly, what ever reson it was.
If changing one mind later, it's false dealing similar to break a contract.

If a promise can not be fullfilled, out of reasons they are not in the sphere of the promis-maker and the promis-maker did also not possible had a chance to foresee this, than it is not a fault.

When one looks carefully and honest, one might see that most of the promises he/she did and did not fullfill have been faults.

A very serious matter is the matter of vows. Think how many take precepts, knowing that they will break them. Doing such is breaking the precepts while asking after them.

Changing ones mind from unskillful to skillful is not wrong, nevertheless one will face consequences of the breaking of promises, since mostly not understandable for others.

That preasure is mostly the hindrence for changing ones mind to a better.

Lets see, maybe my person is able to record a short talk on it.

[Edit: accidental edit by Moritz, reverted]
« Last Edit: July 07, 2017, 04:36:36 AM by Moritz »
This post and Content has come to be by Dhamma-Dana and so is given as it       Dhamma-Dana: Johann

Offline Dhammañāṇa

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Antw:[Q&A] Is changing your mind same as lying? Breaking promises
« Reply #1 on: June 23, 2017, 08:29:02 PM »
It has become 45min of talk and the matter is really a big one, but can solved with simply being honest and good estimation of ones own capacity and capability. So my person thinks its good to talk and ask much in this matter for may cases to be helped to staighten views and ways.

Here in written words again. When changing the mind to skillful things and therefore not able to keep a promis, it is not unskilful when leaving a contract. Nevertheless one will need to bear the fruits of having made unskillful promises before and will mostly be confronted with consequences and claims for repay or fullfilling the contract.

My person wrote on the topic before here and maybe one might find there also useful warnings and ideas for ones own better way.

Erfog/Misserfolg im Geschäft-Success/fail in trade-ជោគជ័យ/បរាជ័យក្នុងការជួញដូរ

Depts, but to whom?

Could not find the one in regard of the possible effects on not keeping promises for a ascetic, if having been the receiver of a promise. Some might be in German.

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Offline Dhammañāṇa

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Antw:[Q&A] Is changing your mind same as lying? Breaking promises
« Reply #2 on: June 24, 2017, 07:48:28 AM »
Maybe Nyom maranadhammomhi likes to share it on DW in the OP as well. Changing ones mind into a good direction is rare but in the other direction where often, so also the many faults and problems with it.

If we for example say: "No, no, I will go in this direction." Inform people likely, and later chance or mind, than it's a "problem", if from world to nibbana, one that does not matter.

Or what do others think here?
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Antw:[Q&A] Is changing your mind same as lying? Breaking promises
« Reply #3 on: July 07, 2017, 04:30:32 AM »


Namasakara Bhante,
and whoever is interested,

_/\_ _/\_ _/\_

I had started transcribing this talk some time ago, wanting to reply to it. But then I had not enough time. Here are the parts I transcribed:

Quote from: Samana Johann per Audio
Valued Upasaka, Upasika,
dear listeners,

Atma, my person tries to answer these questions. Pardon my bad English skills and my person's less appealing talking, especially in recording by not seeing another's face.

Question in regard of breaking promises.
The question in regard of changing one's mind.

In regard of breaking precepts and doing unskillful things is actually a very important matter, especially in Western Buddhists. Why? Because there is much of teaching people in equanimity and try to keep them happy instead of to charge rightly and to be honest. So this tendency more into the direction of "let them feel good" rather than to encourage and nourish signs of higher vijja, and it is often very sad to see when people are actually seeing some problems, and at the moment they think about their actions, others come and say: Oh, it's no problem. Don't think so. And in this way they cut off a matter that is very important, to be honest, simply honest, and to take the precepts very serious.
Is it a break of the precepts if one does not keep to one's promise?
My person thinks it's clear if you have a thought that you will not keep the promise and you tell the promise you deliberately cheat people, and such is a really nasty lie. There are maybe lighter occasions where we often lie in such a way [ ... ?] There are situations where one uses lying and promising to things to be light (?). In a way we make, one makes promises to gain honour, or to win a favour. Either from the receiver of that promise, or people watching that act. You see such every day in politics, if you're someone who watches news and is still interested in such things.
So, to make a promise means to make a contract. When you give a promise you make a contract. That's it. Because other people rely on your promise. And relying on your promise, if you break it, the other part loses. He can lose a little, or he can lose very much. He can even lose his life, sticking to your promise. So breaking a promise is not a light thing. Really not a light thing. When you change your mind later your really have to be careful what you are doing. It's like if you have a contract with a company, for example you take on a car by leasing. (If the right word is leasing in English?) You take the car first, you use it, and you pay later. Is it possible that you say: "Oh, I don't like it. I'd like to have another one." Or whatever? So as soon as you have a contract, you have to stick to the contract. And if you really like to leave the contract, you have to tell it, and search for ways how to solve it.

Quote from: Samana Johann per Audio
24:52

When looking exact, you will not find easy excuses that you cannot fulfill a certain promise.

Quote from: Samana Johann per Audio
25:18

Know that this is a very ... for the most... That is actually one reason most monks would not really get verbal[ly] in contact with you. So when you offer something, that you will make something, or do something, good monks would not verbal[ly] agree with it. They just would stay silent. Why? - so that you have most possibilities that you don't come into the problem of promise. It's a matter of deep impact.

So, of course there are reasons not to keep a promise. It is like with a contract. There are reasons to quit the contract, to step out of the contract. And similar it is with the promise you made. But it's not possible in a way of just: "Oh, a change of my mind." If such is happening, actually it happens often, it is very needed to tell it. To say: "I will not come", and to ask for forgiveness.

Nevertheless the karma of the act is still there. But you and also the other will feel better if knowing what's the fact. So others will not continue to build on it. For breaking a promise can cause very much damage. So it's good not to take it very light and easy. And it's good to make not much promises. And if, keep to it. You will not only be honoured in this life, but also in the next existence. There is just one situation where you are nearly in the right to break a worldly promise you had made. That is the time when you start to walk the path. Especially when you go into the homeless life. To give up everything, to change the mind really, in a helpful way for everyone, is a reason that you may not stick to your promises.

There might be many people that are not happy with you.

Thank you for this careful treatment of this subject, and especially the remarks on and explanation of reasons behind good monastic behaviour in regard of it.

As I already alluded to earlier in another topic : "We have a problem with promises "

Maybe I will find some words for talking about my own problems with the topic, here or in some other thread. But for now, I do not promise.

* Johann : made changes for "specified language view".

« Last Edit: July 23, 2017, 01:46:46 AM by Johann »

Offline Dhammañāṇa

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Antw:[Q&A] Is changing your mind same as lying? Breaking promises
« Reply #4 on: July 07, 2017, 04:19:21 PM »
Sadhu!

Nyom Moritz , im Grunde hängt dieses wechseln von Entschlüssen, abbrechen von Versprächen mit rechtem, oder falschem Entschluß zusammen. Es ist der zweite Teil der Anweisung an Rahula: "Wenn während des Tuns, beobachtet wird, daß entweder Leiden für einen selbst, oder für andere, aufkommt: Stop."

Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sammā-sambuddhassa

"Während Ihr eine körperliche [gleich für, geistig und verbal] Tat vollzieht, solltet Ihr diese gegenbetrachten: 'Diese körperliche Tat, die ich vollziehe - führt sie zu Selbst-Leid, zum Leid für andere oder zu beidem? Ist sie eine ungeschickte körperliche Tat, mit schmerzvollen Nachwirkungen, schmerzvollen Ergebnissen?' Wenn Ihr mit dem Gegenbetrachten wißt, daß sie zu Selbst-Leid, zu Leid für andere oder zu beidem führt... solltet Ihr sie aufgeben. Aber wenn Ihr mit dem Gegenbetrachten wißt, daß diese nicht... mögt [gibt es keinen Grund für ein legitimes Brechen eines Versprechens] Ihr damit fortsetzten.

In solch einem Fall (Druchführen breche Silas), wenn da nicht Trübungen oder Ausreden ins Spiel gekommen sind, dann ist ein Abbrechen eines Versprechens recht und gut.

Das gilt auch für Geistiges. Denken wir an "Liebesschwur", um einen harten Fall zu nehmen, oder Religionsbekenntnis, oder was immer.

Wie gesagt, kann man dennoch in Verbindlichkeiten stecken und "muß" ggf. "Strafe" für's nichteinhalten, wenn für den anderen die Gründe nicht nachvollziehbar, zahlen, die Konsequenzen tragen. In der Regel fällt solches vollzogen, dann aber nicht mehr schwer, und man findet auch keinen wahren Grund der Reue für eine Handlung aus rechter Entschlossenheit:

Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sammā-sambuddhassa

"Und was ist rechte Entschlossenheit? Entschlossen in Entsagung zu sein, in Freiheit von Feindschaft, in Nichtverletzen: Dies, Bhikkhus, wird rechte Entschlossenheit genannt.

— SN 45.8

Mag dies Kreise Schließen, und was die Lösung für alle Versprechen ist, gibts nur eine: Nibbana, alle Arbeit getan, jeder Pflicht enthoben.

Jedes Handeln ist dann einfach: So
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