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[Buddha]

Author Topic: [Q&A] The Bane of Social Media & Giving up bad friends  (Read 327 times)

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Offline Johann

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[Q&A] The Bane of Social Media & Giving up bad friends
« on: October 19, 2017, 01:53:17 AM »
The Bane of Social Media ("Giving up bad friends": see next post )

Quote from: Eggman, on BSE
The Bane of Social Media

I looked up 'social media' in the questions, but didn't find an answer precise enough for my inquiry. Basically, I came to the conclusion that 1) social media fragments attention drastically by multitasking and unawareness, and 2) it is extremely addictive, perhaps for that precise reason.

Thus, I ask what is likely cause, effect, and remedy linked with social media. What fuels social media use? What effects does its use have? What are the best ways to deal with this addictive medium? And finally, is it possible to tackle this addiction without alleviating it with the natural drive to socialize?

Thank you.

Venerable members of the Sangha,
walking in front Fellows in leading the holly life.

  _/\_  _/\_  _/\_

In Respect of the Triple Gems, Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha, in Respect of the Elders of the community  _/\_ , my person tries to answer this question. Please, may all knowledgeable Venerables and Dhammika, out of compassion, correct my person, if something is not correct and fill also graps, if something is missing.

Valued Upasaka, Upasika, Aramika(inis),
dear Readers and Visitors,

 *sgift*

- Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sammā-sambuddhassa

(This is a maybe modified and expanded answer of the "original" that can be found here .)



Eggman and those interested,

A general answer, which goes deep and shows also it's root, can be found in Methuna Sutta: The Discourse on Coupling : Brahma/Abrahmecariya. It's simply a matter of desire of be coming and on most networks just a maintaining with sensual pleasures, just have the purpose of "sex" or unifcation and is at large for the most time unskillful entertaining of the mind.

In regard of developing right mindfulness the Buddha counted six things which should be avoided, yet the main reason why one joins social networks (AN 6.118):

- Lust for bodily work,
- Lust for chatter,
- Lust for sleep,
- Lust for conviviality,
- Unguarded sense-doors,
- Crapulousness in eating.

So it's clear that he did not encourage much to normal social gatherings, aside of teaching, hearing and discussing the Dhamma, for good foods purpose:

Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sammā-sambuddhassa


Humans not restrained in sensuality, (after) honour, and do the wrong thing. Acting on interest (greed), anger and fear, they are (engaged in) the defiled gathering. The recluse who knows has said, Great Men should be praised,

Established in the Teaching, they never do evil. They do not act through interest, anger or fear,

That is said to be the cream of a gathering.

Nevertheless, like food is used to overcome desire for food, so is it with socialicing. And:

It's not so that one should abound such generally first, but at least, that what is called:
Sangama [fr. saŋ+gam] 1. meeting, intercourse, association Sn 681; J ii.42; iii.488; v.483. -- 2. sexual intercourse M i.407; J iv.106.

The "with whom and for what purpose" is like most that what needs to be understood clearly.

A person tended to Dhamma and liberation will not be found on ordinary, wordily social medias by nature, but would seek for association with Noble Ones or those following them. Places which are not really frequented by many.

My person gave a extanded talk on Sangama, yet it is in German: Socialicing - សង្គម [Sangama] , which conserns actually much on this topic generally.

One might now think that "buddhist" Forums and Networks are different. That is not the case. Nearly all those places and Networks, since mostly also householder undertakings, or gatherings of monks seeking for unification and gain, are nothing else as places for low kinds of coupling, entertainment, trade, nourishment of sensual pleasure and becoming, identify.

If someone, in the way of serving, helping, assisting those with noble inspiration, with tendency to Nibbana, seeks of relation with them, seeks for much as possible assosiation, this would be the reason why it can be expected, that such a person soon might develope right view and progress on the path. One who is after assosiation with admirable people and serves for that, walks an auspicious way.

So one is wise if only join places and communities where good deeds are in action practiced and to possible avoid places of consumery, of what even many "buddhist" place are, just charing and eating food (most from third, without any estimate ir obligation) and non of virtues visible.

- Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sammā-sambuddhassa -

"What is good friendship ?

"Herein, Vyagghapajja, in whatsoever village or market town a householder dwells, he associates, converses, engages in discussions with householders or householders' sons, whether young and highly cultured or old and highly cultured, full of faith (saddha),[4] full of virtue (sila), full of charity (caga), full of wisdom (pañña). He acts in accordance with the faith of the faithful, with the virtue of the virtuous, with the charity of the charitable, with the wisdom of the wise. This is called good friendship.
.
...

[Kapadika Bharadvaja:] "To what extent is there an awakening to the truth ? To what extent does one awaken to the truth? We ask Master Gotama about awakening to the truth."

[The Buddha:] "There is the case, Bharadvaja, where a monk lives in dependence on a certain village or town. Then a householder or householder's son goes to him and observes him with regard to three mental qualities — qualities based on greed, qualities based on aversion, qualities based on delusion: 'Are there in this venerable one any such qualities based on greed that, with his mind overcome by these qualities, he might say, "I know," while not knowing, or say, "I see," while not seeing; or that he might urge another to act in a way that was for his/her long-term harm & pain?' As he observes him, he comes to know, 'There are in this venerable one no such qualities based on greed... His bodily behavior & verbal behavior are those of one not greedy. And the Dhamma he teaches is deep, hard to see, hard to realize, tranquil, refined, beyond the scope of conjecture, subtle, to-be-experienced by the wise. This Dhamma can't easily be taught by a person who's greedy.[/dquote]

So one should understand rightly the meaning of

- Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sammā-sambuddhassa -

Seclusion

"It's through living together that a person's virtue may be known, and then only after a long period, not a short period; by one who is attentive, not by one who is inattentive; by one who is discerning, not by one who is not discerning.

"It's through trading with a person that his purity may be known, and then only after a long period, not a short period; by one who is attentive, not by one who is inattentive; by one who is discerning, not by one who is not discerning.

"It's through adversity that a person's endurance may be known, and then only after a long period, not a short period; by one who is attentive, not by one who is inattentive; by one who is discerning, not by one who is not discerning.

"It's through discussion that a person's discernment may be known, and then only after a long period, not a short period; by one who is attentive, not by one who is inattentive; by one who is discerning, not by one who is not discerning."

Here one sees that it is required to assosiate and people who do not let others take part in all ways of their life indicate that they are not only stinge but may have reason to hide their certain secrets.

If one seriously like to make progress, food-places, shows, entertaining, e.g. common social networks (this incl. common "Buddhist" net works) need to be avoided, and one should not think "oh, look, this monks use it also, so it might be not that bad" since when seeing monks on social networks, it's a clear sign that such person might wear a rob but by heart had not left home at all, is - if good - simply a "cook" .

Since it all is a matter of accumulating debts in this or that way, it's wise to look to whom on does increase debts for his/her entertaining, livelihood of mind. Some words on it may help: Debts, but to whom?

If one is not really blessed, not having good protection yet, one would be wise to activily seek for such protection:

Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sammā-sambuddhassa

Many devas and human beings
give thought to protection,
desiring well-being.
Tell, then, the highest protection.

The Buddha:

Not consorting with fools,
consorting with the wise,
paying homage to those worthy of homage:
This is the highest protection.
...

Respect, humility,
contentment, gratitude,
hearing the Dhamma on timely occasions:
This is the highest protection.

Patience, compliance,
seeing contemplatives,
discussing the Dhamma on timely occasions:
This is the highest protection...

Since just translating, as the mechanic of "gifts" and "debts", to (be)come again and again:

Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sammā-sambuddhassa


The manifold stresses
  that come into play in the world,
  come from acquisition as their cause.
  Anyone not knowing [this]
  creates acquisition.
  The fool, he comes to stress
      again & again.
  Therefore, discerning [this],
  you shouldn't create acquisition
  as you contemplate birth
  as what brings stress
      into play.
Quote from: Dualities

This is why one should best only leave Seclusion just for the sake of giving, and its good that if doing so not even reputations should be accumulated, sharing what ever merits so that the fine grasping after gain get more and more tiny and possible will fade.

If you just go out for feeding and entertainment of unskillful mind states, what will you gain aside that the ability of staying secluded, independent, free, will more and more fade away? Beware of Mara, he is very strong this days, and best if possible cut of from ordinary social net works quick.

Anumodana!
« Last Edit: October 19, 2017, 02:16:22 AM by Johann »
This post and Content has come to be by Dhamma-Dana and so is given as it       Dhamma-Dana: Johann

Offline Johann

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[Q&A] Giving up bad friends
« Reply #1 on: October 19, 2017, 02:12:09 AM »
Since very related to the first question:

Giving up bad friends

Quote from: Konrad on BSE
Giving up bad friends

The Buddha has spoken many times about giving up bad friends, we can find it in the Dhammapada, in the beautiful Maha Mangala Sutta and many other places.

My first point is: If we abandon bad friends, how will they improve? What role compassion plays here?

My second point is: It is very hard these days to completely abandon bad friends, we have social networks, professional networks, smartphones etc., we are connected like never before, it is very hard for a lay person to live only with good friends around, except if maybe he/she becomes a recluse, so what should one do? Just set limits?

("Original" of the answer can be found here .)

- Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sammā-sambuddhassa -

Konrad and those interested,

of course the path is not easy to do and it consists of letting go for long term benefit. The good in regard of this path is, that it actually benefits not only oneself but also all others, which therefore includes your bad "friends" as well.

As even the Bodhisatta, having free one wish, wished:

Quote
Once, when the Bodhisat was born as a man called Akitti Pandita, the King of Devas promised to grant him any boon he asked. Akitti Pandita begged that he might never meet, see or talk with fools. The King of Devas was surprised and asked him the reason for this strange request. Replying, he explained that fools or the unwise ones i.e. people who do not understand discipline, always lead their friends to bad ways and teach them to do wrong, because they do not know the right way them selves. If discipline or good ways are spoken in their presence, they become angry, for they cannot understand, they lose their temper and quarrels arise. If discipline or good ways are spoken in their presence, they become angry, for they do not understand them. Therefore he prayed that he might never speak, meet or come in contact with fools.

Mangala Suta-Uannana

Once possible firm in Dhamma, having become good independent, one may, if seeing benefit and having possibility, return to "bad friend" and maybe help them further, occationaly. It's also then no more possible to stay under "bad" friends for longer time. For now, like suggested in the airoplanes, adult should take on the emergency mask first.

Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sammā-sambuddhassa

"Bhikkhus, the misery from the decrease of relations is nothing in comparison to the decrease of wisdom. Bhikkhus, of decreases the decrease in wisdom is miserable.

"Bhikkhus, the increase of relations is nothing in comparison to increase of wisdom. Therefore you should train, we will increase in wisdom.

As the Buddha told, if not finding people better or equal in regard of real treasures, it's better to walk alone.

For more and detail, this links may maybe provide a lot of satisfaction and clearance:

Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sammā-sambuddhassa

Ven. Ananda said to the Blessed One, "This is half of the holy life, lord: admirable friendship, admirable companionship, admirable camaraderie."[1]

"Don't say that, Ananda. Don't say that. Admirable friendship, admirable companionship, admirable camaraderie is actually the whole of the holy life. When a monk has admirable people as friends, companions, & comrades, he can be expected to develop & pursue the noble eightfold path.
Quote from: Upaddha Sutta

[Note: This is a gift of Dhamma, not meant for commercial purpose or other low wordily gains by means of trade and exchange]

Anumodana!
This post and Content has come to be by Dhamma-Dana and so is given as it       Dhamma-Dana: Johann

Tags:
 

Plauderbox

 

Sophorn

July 14, 2018, 11:10:02 AM
 :-* :-* :-*
Karuna tvay bongkum Bhante
 :-*  :-* :-*
 

Sophorn

July 14, 2018, 11:09:03 AM
 :)  ;) Moritz, gut einfühlbar. In Österreich lebte der Körper nach der asiatischen Uhr, hier in N nach der österreichischen Uhr.
Nicht zeitgerecht der Natur entsprechend zu leben, überfordert den Körper.  
Beste Grüße aus Kathmandu!  :-*
 

Johann

July 14, 2018, 11:06:18 AM
Sadhu, und vergesse Nyom sich nicht.
 

Moritz

July 14, 2018, 11:00:04 AM
Es wird spät in Hawaii. Einen friedlichen Tag allen. _/\_
 

Moritz

July 14, 2018, 07:40:41 AM
Ja, gestern Vormittag bis Nachmittag. Ich lebe wohl gerade ungefähr im Einklang mit der Zeitzone von Hawaii.
 

Johann

July 14, 2018, 07:36:45 AM
Nyom Moritz. Hat er auch ausreichend Schlaf genommen?
 

Moritz

July 14, 2018, 07:30:08 AM
Good day, Bhante _/\_
 

Moritz

July 13, 2018, 05:58:06 PM
Vandami, Bhante _/\_
 

Johann

July 13, 2018, 03:20:13 PM
Nyom Roman
 

Moritz

July 13, 2018, 03:07:40 AM
Ach ja, hab nun geändert. Vielleicht klappt's nun beim nächsten probieren @Roman
_/\_
 

Johann

July 13, 2018, 02:21:56 AM
Vielleicht gut wenn Meister Moritz Nyom Roman die 5 Mühsam-Beitagszahl hineinzaubert, da dann spamschutz wegfällt und er zu den unöffentlichen Foren Zugang hat.
 

Moritz

July 12, 2018, 09:13:06 PM
Hier eine kurze Bild-Erklärung zum Beantworten von Themen und Beiträgen.
Wenn noch Probleme, gern weiter hier nachfragen. _/\_
 

Moritz

July 12, 2018, 09:11:14 PM
Gut zu hören, dass der Bruder sich mitfreut. Sadhu! :)
Möge alles problemlos im Eintritt in das neue Leben für ihn laufen. _/\_

Roman

July 12, 2018, 09:01:41 PM
Danke moritz

Ich werde es ausprobieren!!

Aufjedenfall war es eine sehr erfreuliche Nachricht! ! Ich bin sehr stolz auf marcel!! Mein herz geht auf!! Wunderschön!
 

Moritz

July 12, 2018, 08:58:37 PM
(Also auch auf der neuen Seite, wo dann das Text-Eingabefeld ist: Das Text-Eingabefeld ist nicht gleich im Fokus, sondern man muss erst ein gutes Stück nach unten scrollen, um es zu finden.)
Nicht sicher gerade, wie es auf Smartphone aussieht, ob da viel anders ist.
 

Moritz

July 12, 2018, 08:56:57 PM
Wenn man ganz unten ans Ende der letzten Nachricht scrollt, sollte da ein Button "Reply" oder "Antworten" sein. (Je nach eingestellter Sprache vielleicht.) Da drauf klicken. Dann sollte auf der nächsten Seite eine Texteingabe-Ansicht erscheinen. Zu der muss man aber erst ein Stück runter scrollen.
 

Moritz

July 12, 2018, 08:53:20 PM
Oh, die Nachricht wurde abgeschnitten. Hier in der Shoutbox sind nur ein paar hundert Zeichen möglich.
Ja, das Forum ist etwas unübersichtlich am Anfang. Moment, ich versuche mal, zu erklären. :)

Roman

July 12, 2018, 08:41:24 PM
Hallo

Ich lese sehr viel hier!! Es ist sehr interessant!! Die Menge an Infos! ! Sehr toll!!..Ich habe versucht auf den Beitrag zu reagieren der die Entwicklung von nyom marcel beschreibt..glaube von Johann verfasst. Jedoch weiß ich noch nicht genau wie dieses funktioniert.
Ich habe die Nachric
 

Moritz

July 12, 2018, 08:34:57 PM
Hallo Roman, Binocular/Visitor _/\_
 

Johann

July 12, 2018, 02:08:25 PM
Nyom Roman
 

Johann

July 11, 2018, 10:08:30 PM
Ohh... es ist woeder mal 3 geworden. Atma erlaubt sich, sich zurückzuziehen und sich etwas um die Malaria zu kümmern.
 

Johann

July 11, 2018, 07:20:56 PM
Sadhu zu Ersten Ausruf/ Aufruf. Sadhu zum zweiten, zu Vorbildhaftigkeit, und mag er sich stets entlassen fühlen
 

Moritz

July 11, 2018, 07:00:07 PM
Chom reap leah, Bhante _/\_
Nun wirklich weg hier für heute, Arbeit ruft.
 

Moritz

July 11, 2018, 05:43:01 PM
Allen gute Besinnung auf was besinnenswert ([1] | [2] ) ist wünschend _/\_
 

Sophorn

July 08, 2018, 09:33:25 AM
Karuna tvay bongkum Bhante :-* :-* :-*
 

Johann

July 08, 2018, 09:28:47 AM
Nyom Sophorn
 

Danilo

July 08, 2018, 12:20:06 AM
Bhante and Moritz _/\_
 

Johann

July 08, 2018, 12:16:49 AM
Moritz, Danilo
 

Moritz

July 08, 2018, 12:09:40 AM
Good evening, morning or whatever the time here and there. _/\_
 

Johann

July 02, 2018, 04:20:58 PM
Meister Moritz
 

Moritz

July 02, 2018, 02:57:42 PM
Vandami, Bhante _/\_
 

Marcel

July 02, 2018, 02:36:37 PM
  :-* Hallo Moritz
 

Moritz

July 02, 2018, 02:33:25 PM
Hallo, Marcel, Sophorn. _/\_
 

Johann

July 02, 2018, 05:18:33 AM
Nyom Sophorn, Nachricht von Bhante Indannano: http://sangham.net/index.php/topic,1554.msg15198.html#msg15198
 

Marcel

July 02, 2018, 03:51:28 AM
 :-* :-* :-*
Bhante
 :-* :-* :-*
 

Johann

July 02, 2018, 02:22:38 AM
Nyom Marcel
 

Johann

July 02, 2018, 02:08:22 AM
Geruhsame Nacht, Nyom
 

Moritz

July 02, 2018, 01:48:32 AM
Gute Nacht. _/\_
 

Moritz

July 02, 2018, 01:47:01 AM
Hallo Mirco! :)
 

Moritz

July 02, 2018, 01:46:48 AM
Sadhu. Möge Bhante lange gesund bleiben. _/\_
 

Johann

July 01, 2018, 06:45:22 PM
Sadhu

Angenehmen, klärenden Tag. Auch allen anderen.

Atmas Gesundheit, trotz der durch stetes Regnen zahlreicher Mitesser, ist soweit ok und wer weis wie morgen. Bisher schon länger malariaanfallverschont.

 

Moritz

July 01, 2018, 04:45:36 PM
(Bin erst mal kurz weg vom Computer.
Chom reap leah. _/\_)
 

Moritz

July 01, 2018, 04:41:41 PM
Guten Abend, Bhante. _/\_

Wie steht es um Ihre Gesundheit und Malaria?

_/\_
 

Moritz

July 01, 2018, 03:48:17 AM
Hallo Sophorn!
Gruß auch zurück nach Österreich :) _/\_
 

Sophorn

July 01, 2018, 03:40:58 AM
Freut mich, dass es gut geht.

Beste Grüsse nach Asien und Resteuropa!  :-*
 

Marcel

June 30, 2018, 12:23:03 AM
Werte sophorn,
Mir geht es gut!  :-*
 

Sophorn

June 29, 2018, 08:23:49 PM
Werter Marcel,
Wie geht's?
 :-*
 

Marcel

June 28, 2018, 08:10:49 AM
  :'(- irrtümlich gesendet!!
 

Marcel

June 28, 2018, 08:08:00 AM
 :-* :-* :-*
Sadhu,Sadhu,Sadhu
 :-* :-* :-* :'(
 

Marcel

June 28, 2018, 08:07:58 AM
 :-* :-* :-*
Sadhu,Sadhu,Sadhu
 :-* :-* :-*

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