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[Buddha]

Author Topic: [Q&A] Should I always put another person's interest before mine?  (Read 221 times)

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Online Johann

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[Q&A] Should I always put another person's interest before mine?

Quote from: by Anca on BSE
I try to become a kinder person. Sometimes I feel bad ( guilty) after not doing a service for someone, even if it's not in my benefit to do that thing. How can I understand when it's kindness toward another and when it's "stepping over me"?

Venerable members of the Sangha,
walking in front Fellows in leading the holly life.

  _/\_  _/\_  _/\_

In Respect of the Triple Gems, Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha, in Respect of the Elders of the community  _/\_ , my person tries to answer this question. Please, may all knowledgeable Venerables and Dhammika, out of compassion, correct my person, if something is not correct and fill also graps, if something is missing.

Valued Upasaka, Upasika, Aramika(inis),
dear Readers and Visitors,

 *sgift*

- Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sammā-sambuddhassa  -





Hard to find but not impossible to become one noble attendant for your self at first place.

A matter of Saddha (conviction, faith) to put into unknown:

 

- Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sammā-sambuddhassa -

Even children and some pet animal, even though they cannot understand the first characteristics of saddha, will perform good deeds in emulation of their elders and teachers. So they will pay homage to the Ti Ratana (Three Jewels), offer alms, and do service to others. While doing such good deeds they enjoy the fruits of the second characteristics, clarity of mind. Even unbelievers sometimes do acts of generosity such as donations to social services, like hospitals, orphanage, homes for the aged, etc. and enjoy clarity of mind. -[/quote]

Service in Helping others (Veyyāvaca ) is one of the 10 meritorious deeds and belongs, if in the right frame, already to the virtue section of which is already a path element.

One can never to to much merits, if owning the requirments and as the Buddha told "don't be afraid of merits".

When is service an aspect of generousity and when an aspect of virtue, sila.

There where is a certain duty behind, there it is an aspect of right conduct. In cases where is no real duty, it's an aspect of generosity.

When service is done for a low reward, it might be better to speak of more or lesser good job or trade.

Service torward ones parents, helping relatives , torward ones teacher, and for those having found refuge in the three Gems, toward Buddha Dhamma, Sangha, all those who are worthy for sacrifies is service in the frame of the generosity of virtue and good conduct. Such is never wrong and will be always praised by the wisse.

To render service torward others is a matter of relationship and certain trade for pleasant livelihood and living. Being obligated and carefull torward the needs of others is a skillful virtue.

When a notion of "what's my benefit from it" arises or thoughts like "what has hegshe done for me before" arises, don't give anything into it. Only a small delay when skillful mind arises, and one has lost another change.

Aside in the frame of Sila (virtue) benefical service is not made if done in hope of reward or just as reward of something given before. So there will be no tips and not many guests around if drawing the simile to an attendant or waiter. Just "Businessas usual" does neither increase joy for one self nor for others. It's a poor life if one has nothing to attend or being devoted to. Even the Buddha, after awakening, all work done, no duties anywhere, saw that and devoted the remindings to serve the Dhamma, the truth, by his actions and teaching.
 

Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sammā-sambuddhassa

This was said by the Blessed One, said by the Arahant, so I have heard: "I am a brahman, responsive to requests, open-handed, bearing my last body, an unsurpassed doctor & surgeon. You are my children, my sons, born from my mouth, born of the Dhamma, created by the Dhamma, heirs to the Dhamma, not heirs in material things.

"There are these two kinds of gifts: a gift of material things & a gift of the Dhamma. Of the two, this is supreme: a gift of the Dhamma.

"There are these two kinds of sharing: sharing of material things & sharing of the Dhamma. Of the two, this is supreme: sharing of the Dhamma.

"There are these two kinds of assistance: assistance with material things & assistance with the Dhamma. Of the two, this is supreme: help with the Dhamma.

"There are these two kinds of mass-donations: a mass-donation of material things & a mass-donation of the Dhamma. Of the two, this is supreme: a mass-donation of the Dhamma."

He who, unstinting,
  made the mass-donation of Dhamma,
  the Tathagata,
  sympathetic to all beings:
      to one of that sort
  — the best of beings, human & divine —
  living beings pay homage —
      to one gone
      to the beyond
      of becoming.
Quote from: Iti 100

Once one has done ones duties, once having given into generosity, one is therefore out of remorse, has objects to rejoice and is able to gain concentration and releasing insight.

For one not given into generosity and virtue, live is full of remorse, hard and not easy at ease and right concentration can not be attained, so no release can be found.

As for rendering service for them aside of those always worthy of service, and aside of services as a duty, the proper time , circumstance, is of use to invest not into hindering binding. The four circumstances are:
  • for one arriving (new)
  • for one leaving
  • for one ill (handicapped)
  • for one lacking food (in search for basic requirements to maintain his/her existence)

Doing just service and help, assisting good deeds, might bring even more fruits as material share:
 
If you have goodwill and true cetana in giving voluntary service benefits may be greater than those of the actual donor. For instance, in Buddha's time there was a governor named Payasi, who was a heretic but became a believer of the Dhamma due to the teachings of Venerable Kumara Kassapa. This Payasi performed charity and alms-giving regularly. But he did not do the good deed himself. Instead he delegated Uttara a young lad to offer alms-food to Bhikkhus. Although Uttara was acting on behalf of the governor, he put all his heart and soul in the alms giving. When both the governor and the servant died, the former was reborn in Catumaharajika - the lowest of the six celestial abodes; the latter was reborn in Tavatimsa, which is higher than Catumaharajika. 

There is, at the end here, an inspiring story about the untouchability of skillful rendering service in a Jataka story , on building "a street to heaven".

Generosity and Virtue are real treasures:

 

- Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sammā-sambuddhassa -

There is the case of a disciple of the noble ones, his awareness cleansed of the stain of stinginess, living at home, freely generous, openhanded, delighting in being magnanimous, responsive to requests, delighting in the distribution of alms. This is called the treasure of generosity.[/quote]

Note that generosity is actually the last before the highest treasure, so nothing orinary mind is able to.

May nobody ever lacks of the oppotunity to render service for something worthy to attend to, never lacks of objects worthy for devotion and sacrifies. May this world never be void of the great field of merits for the future generations.
« Last Edit: December 08, 2017, 01:17:08 AM by Johann »
This post and Content has come to be by Dhamma-Dana and so is given as it       Dhamma-Dana: Johann

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April 22, 2018, 09:11:17 AM
Sadhu!
 

Sophorn

April 22, 2018, 08:40:14 AM
 :-* :-* :-*
May every being be happy and free from dukkha.
May many renew their vows in silas today.   :-* :-* :-*
 

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April 15, 2018, 12:43:25 AM
Bhante _/\_
 

Johann

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Nyom Danilo.
 

Johann

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Moritz
 

Moritz

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Namasakara, Bhante. _/\_
 

Moritz

April 10, 2018, 07:19:18 PM
Hello.
 

Johann

April 10, 2018, 01:09:20 PM
Nyom. (Sideboad ist stets zugeklappt... tech. Probl.) 3:00 ist auch schon guten Tag.
 

Moritz

April 10, 2018, 03:06:49 AM
Good day (night here)
_/\_
 

Moritz

April 10, 2018, 02:54:42 AM
Namasakara, Bhante. _/\_
 

Johann

April 09, 2018, 09:43:17 AM
Take your time Nyom Danilo and watch the breath to stay best calm for best benefit. A lot of chances to get ride of many ols burdens.
 

Danilo

April 08, 2018, 06:24:57 PM
_/\_
 

Johann

April 08, 2018, 05:54:03 PM
Nyom Danilo.
 

Marcel

April 08, 2018, 09:58:59 AM
sadhu!
 

Johann

April 08, 2018, 07:35:17 AM
Sadhu!
 

Moritz

April 08, 2018, 06:13:54 AM
Good Uposatha to all. _/\_
 

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April 01, 2018, 06:17:08 AM
 :-* :-* :-*
 

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March 31, 2018, 07:13:47 PM
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Johann

March 31, 2018, 10:11:20 AM
Sadhu!
 

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March 31, 2018, 09:52:03 AM
 :-* ich wünsche allen ein verdienstvollen uposatha  :-*
 

Johann

March 27, 2018, 06:44:11 PM
Atma zieht sich hier nun zurück. Möge sich Vollkommenheit einstellen.
 

Johann

March 27, 2018, 05:26:44 PM
Nyom Binocular.
 

Johann

March 27, 2018, 04:10:58 PM
Nyom Jens.
 

Johann

March 27, 2018, 01:47:58 PM
Brahmane Hanspeter.
 

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March 27, 2018, 01:41:50 PM
Moritz, mag sich Vollendung ergeben. (Chamreun bo)
 

Moritz

March 27, 2018, 12:20:53 PM
Chom reap sour. _/\_
 

Moritz

March 27, 2018, 12:11:33 PM
Vandami, Bhante _/\_
 

Johann

March 26, 2018, 01:42:45 PM
Nyom Binocular.

my person will leave for today and rests. There have been left some hard challenges (sure for many). May they be releasing taken and increase conviction.
 

Johann

March 25, 2018, 01:40:14 PM
Gute Antwort. Sadhu!
 

Marcel

March 25, 2018, 12:46:12 PM
 :-* :-* :-*

beste wünsche zurück an erhwürdigen bhante! es ist unsicher wann ich wieder komme! upanissayapaccayena!  :-* :-* :-*
 

Johann

March 25, 2018, 12:28:38 PM
Marcel.
(Heute im Nordkloster, best wünsche vom Abt dort, er fragt stets "Wann kommt er? Ich muß immer an ihn denken."
 

Johann

March 24, 2018, 10:44:34 AM
Sadhu!
 

Marcel

March 24, 2018, 09:52:48 AM
 :-* heute ist uposatha!! ich wünsche allen ein verdienstvollen tag! mögen die devas jene bescheid geben, die kein zugang haben! :-*
 

Johann

March 23, 2018, 11:37:46 AM
Sadhu! Zu was immer einer Zuflucht nimmt, sich hingibt, daran erfreut, das wird/ist sein Schutz, für Bindung oder Ungebundenheit.
 

Marcel

March 23, 2018, 01:43:01 AM
 :-* möge die drei juwelen den ehrwürdigen bhante beschützen und ihn auf seinem weg unterstützen :-*
 

Johann

March 23, 2018, 01:28:02 AM
Kampf der Devas mit den Asuras um den Berg. :)
 

Johann

March 23, 2018, 01:26:30 AM
Regenzeit... außen trüb und unangenehm, nagend, faulend, doch dahinter ist alles fein.
 

Marcel

March 23, 2018, 01:10:47 AM
 :-* ehrwürdiger bhante johann, ja soweit alles gut! und wie geht es ihnen?  :-*
 

Johann

March 23, 2018, 12:58:05 AM
verlesen... Marcel :) alles gut im (ver)laufen?
 

Johann

March 23, 2018, 12:26:23 AM
Moritz
 

Administration

March 21, 2018, 03:42:55 PM
Sadhu!
 

Marcel

March 21, 2018, 03:32:47 PM
 :-* mögen sie alle noch in diesem leben das herz von avijja befreien!!! :-*
 

Johann

March 19, 2018, 05:20:12 AM
This "wiki"-like backup tool is meant as a outwardy insurance that one does not be afraid that anything possible good can be desroyed or made bad while looking for cleaning it. So worry at all, kamma does not dissapear. No need to fear to make good deeds, knowing that.
 

Johann

March 19, 2018, 04:03:35 AM
And there is no intention to just make a museum out of a working and concentration camp, since the Dhamma can not be understood by just looking on forms but by learning and experiance skillful deeds.
 

Johann

March 19, 2018, 04:00:47 AM
Post-history: http://sangham.net/index.php/topic,1164.0.html (but there is no notification system). My person uses to make a @mention , off topic "/me" in the OP.
 

Johann

March 19, 2018, 03:49:28 AM
Or to simply make a new post. No need to be shy in doing good things. It's not a museum, it's a working and concentration place. Mudita.
 

Johann

March 19, 2018, 03:47:57 AM
There is such as a "wiki" backup function in all posts, Nyom Danilo. Good is to use the mention option, at the places where making changes @Johann , that it gets not "lost".
 

Danilo

March 19, 2018, 03:02:46 AM
I have a backup of the original post in any case. I might review the second post next time. Very insightful teaching. _/\_
 

Danilo

March 19, 2018, 03:01:35 AM
I've recently fixed many words and sentences of the first post of the thread "Debts, but to whom?". It take me some time trying to figure out the meaning of some sentences. So it would be good if Bhante could check if the original intended meaning of the post still intact. I have a backup of the ori
 

Danilo

March 19, 2018, 01:57:28 AM
_/\_ _/\_ _/\_

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