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Talkbox

2019 Jan 15 19:41:08
Khemakumara: Nyom Moritz

2019 Jan 15 19:38:38
Moritz: Vandami Bhante (Khemakumara) _/\_

2019 Jan 15 17:13:16
Johann: Nyom Puthy, maybe this helps: ការរបៀបឆ្លេីយនៅក្នុង website .

2019 Jan 15 16:10:29
Ieng Puthy: ព្រះអង្គករុណាសូមថ្វាយបង្គំុលាសិនហេីយ 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

2019 Jan 15 16:07:58
Ieng Puthy: ករុណាគ្រាន់តែចូលអាន ករុណាមិនទាន់យល់ពីរបៀបឆ្លេីយនៅក្នុងwebsite នៅឡេីយទេ ព្រះអង្គ 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

2019 Jan 15 16:00:58
Johann: How ever one feels inspired, has joy, likes to give into.  How can I use the forum purposefully, for myself, as well as for others?

2019 Jan 15 15:57:55
Johann: No need to use all possibilities for merits for one alone but good to invite others to join and become more independend till free.

2019 Jan 15 15:04:39
Johann: no requirement to do all, merits step by step. "The path to nibbana is hard", they say, and don't do even little steps, Nyom. As inspired, its at least a working and concentration camp, Devas delight in creation, Devas having contr. over the creation of others.

2019 Jan 15 14:53:43
Cheav Villa: ព្រះអង្គការបកប្រែមកជាខ្មែរ  មានខុសច្រើនណាស់  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2019 Jan 15 14:49:16
Khemakumara: leng Puthy

2019 Jan 15 14:48:29
Khemakumara: Nyom leng Pitts

2019 Jan 15 14:45:35
Johann: There is a lot of new for many. If the Nyom Ladies like to help in translating here and there a little, it might be easier for khmer-speaking monks to get informed well.

2019 Jan 15 14:25:23
Ieng Puthy: 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼ករុណាថ្វាយបង្គំុ ព្រះអង្គ Bhante Khemakumara

2019 Jan 15 13:33:34
Khemakumara: Bhante Muni

2019 Jan 15 13:32:47
Khemakumara: Bhante Johann _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2019 Jan 15 13:27:53
Johann: Bhante Muni

2019 Jan 15 10:46:40
Johann: But a topic can be opened everywhere and can then be moved.

2019 Jan 15 10:45:27
Johann: There is also a Link to direct Requests for Teachings - link, so things get not lost.

2019 Jan 15 10:44:12
Ieng Puthy: 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻ករុណាព្រះអង្គ🙏🏻អរព្រះគុុណ ព្រះអង្គ

2019 Jan 15 10:42:55
Johann: Good place is surely at  Dhammatalks - (dhamma desanā)

2019 Jan 15 10:35:06
Johann: Talkbox is not proper, just for greating and small-talk

2019 Jan 15 10:24:47
Ieng Puthy: 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻ព្រះអង្គ តេីមានធម៌អ្វីដែលអាចកំចាត់ធម៌លោភៈល្អិតនៅក្នុងចិត្តបានដែរឬទេ ?ព្រះអង្គ Vandami Banthe 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

2019 Jan 15 10:21:37
Johann: Just open a new topic best, Nyom Puthy (requires some bhava-chanda)

2019 Jan 15 10:17:22
Johann: Nyom Puthy

2019 Jan 15 10:07:10
Ieng Puthy: 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻ករុណាថ្វាយបង្គំុ ព្រះអង្គ Vandami Banthe

2019 Jan 15 10:01:15
Ieng Puthy: 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻ករុណាថ្វាយបង្គំុ ព្រះអង្គមុនី! ករុណាមានសំណួរ១អំពី អនុស្ស័យកិលេសមាន៧ គឺ 1-កាមរាគានុស្ស័យ 2-ភវនុស្ស័យ3

2019 Jan 15 09:31:36
Cheav Villa:  :)  _/\_

2019 Jan 15 09:27:54
Chanroth: ខ្ញុំព្រះករុណាសូមថ្វាយបង្គំព្រះអង្គមុន្នី ពីរអាស្រមថ្មទូក_/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2019 Jan 15 09:21:46
Chanroth: បាតជំរាបសួរបងស្រី ខ្ញុំមិនទាន់បានធ្វេីនៅឡេីយទេ ពីព្រោះខ្ញុំឈឺ បានធូហេីយ តែមិនទាន់បាត់ថ្លោះករនៅឡេីយ _/\_

2019 Jan 15 08:57:49
Cheav Villa: ថ្វាយបង្គំព្រះអង្គមុនី  _/\_

2019 Jan 15 07:34:19
Johann: Bhante Khemakumara

2019 Jan 15 05:57:47
Cheav Villa: តើពូកំពុងជួយការងារលោកតាមែនទេ?តើនៅអាស្រមមានកង្វះខាតអ្វីទេនៅពេលនេះ

2019 Jan 15 05:54:51
Cheav Villa: ជំរាបសួរពូចាន់រ័ត្ន _/\_

2019 Jan 15 01:12:12
Johann: And "we" wouldn't always know or find out but need to relay on one who know

2019 Jan 15 01:06:48
Johann: There are two kinds of sadness and happiness, of which one of each is conductive for liberation, one not.

2019 Jan 15 01:02:24
Mohan Gnanathilake: May we always be able to find out for ourselves how much attachment we accumulate, and whether this brings us happiness or sorrow! Dhamma Greetings from Sri Lanka!

2019 Jan 15 01:00:52
Mohan Gnanathilake: Mögen wir immer  selbst herausfinden kӧnnen, wie viel Anhaftung wir anhäufen und ob  diese Anhaftung uns die Frӧhlichkeit oder  die Traurigkeit bringt! Dhamma Grüβe aus Sri Lanka!

2019 Jan 14 13:52:41
Johann: Nyom Puthy. May you all have good Dhamma conversations with each other, don't be shy on that. Atma will go to rest.

2019 Jan 14 13:48:00
Johann: ញោម ចាន់រ័ត្ន

2019 Jan 14 12:49:01
Cheav Villa: អរព្រះគុណព្រះអង្គ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2019 Jan 14 12:36:20
Mohan Gnanathilake: May we possess the causes of blissfulness always! Dhamma Greetings from Sri Lanka!

2019 Jan 14 12:35:18
Mohan Gnanathilake: Mӧgen wir immer die Ursachen der Glückseligkeit besitzen! Dhamma Grüβe  aus Sri Lanka!

2019 Jan 14 10:20:32
Johann: "នាងវិសាខា ក្រាបបង្គំទូលថា ថ្ងៃនេះខ្ញុំម្ចាស់រក្សាឧបោសថៈព្រះអង្គ។"...

2019 Jan 14 09:49:40
Chanroth:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2019 Jan 14 06:59:34
Cheav Villa: Jain-Upossathaកូណាមុិនទាន់យល់ន័យនៃពាក្យនេះទេ _/\_

2019 Jan 14 05:12:41
Johann: "មិនមែនជារបស់ខ្លួន"... មែន(sense)ទុក្ខឬមិន? Where?

2019 Jan 14 04:57:55
Johann: Buddha and Savaka do not teach Jain-Uposatha: អ្នកណា​មាទុក្ខ? , Sadhu

2019 Jan 14 04:50:21
Johann: ជាធម៌អសេង្ខបុគ្គល! មានទេមិនមាន ... ការនិយាយអំពីសត្វ។ ធម៌ទាំងអស់មានមូលហេតុ ដូច្នេះ: រឿងដំបូងនៅលើកដំបូង!

2019 Jan 14 04:21:59
Cheav Villa: មិនមែនជារបស់ខ្លួន ជាអនត្តាធម៌ ជាធម៌អសេង្ខបុគ្គល  _/\_

2019 Jan 14 04:16:00
Johann: មិនមែនជារបស់ខ្លួនទេ = មិនមែនទុក្ខទេ

2019 Jan 14 04:06:00
Johann: Nyom Puthy

2019 Jan 14 04:05:16
Johann: ទុក្ខំ អនិច្ចំ អន្តតា !

2019 Jan 14 02:18:42
Chanroth: ទុក្ខំ អនិច្ចំ អន្តតា

2019 Jan 13 15:16:49
Johann: First things first , very recommended, hearing the Uposatha of the Jains from the Villages all the time here.

2019 Jan 13 15:05:49
Johann: again and again coming back to Dhamma, Punja? Habits become destinies.

2019 Jan 13 14:53:42
Johann: coming back seems to be niccaŋ

2019 Jan 13 14:40:52
Cheav Villa: អនិច្ចំ *sgift*

2019 Jan 13 14:29:43
Ieng Puthy:  Chom reap leah , good bye🙏🏼

2019 Jan 13 14:18:50
Moritz: Chom reap leah, good bye _/\_

2019 Jan 13 14:11:50
Ieng Puthy: Hello Master Morithz🙏🏼

2019 Jan 13 14:07:24
Moritz: Hello Ieng Puthy _/\_

2019 Jan 13 14:07:16
Moritz: Vandami Bhante _/\_

2019 Jan 13 13:54:34
Ieng Puthy: ជំរាបសួរ បងចាន់រ័ត្ន Bong Chanroth 🙏🏼សូមបងឆាប់បានជាសះស្បេីយ

2019 Jan 13 13:49:26
Johann: Meister Moritz

2019 Jan 13 09:17:06
Chanroth: ខ្ញំបានជាហើយ តែវេទនាបានកើតឡើងចំពោះខ្ញុំ បញ្ហាថ្លោះកករ :-\

2019 Jan 13 07:49:41
Cheav Villa: ជំរាបសួរពូចាន់រ័ត្ន ពូបានធូរស្បើយហើយមើលទៅ :D _/\_

2019 Jan 13 07:48:35
Cheav Villa: Sadhu _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2019 Jan 13 07:47:10
Johann: May all spent a meritful Siladay today or tomorrow.

2019 Jan 13 05:07:45
Chanroth: ជំរាបសួរបងស្រី វីឡាខ្ញុំបាទchanroth _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2019 Jan 13 00:05:39
Ieng Puthy: ករុណាព្រះអង្គ Bhante 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

2019 Jan 12 09:04:48
Johann: Nyom Puthy

2019 Jan 11 13:49:09
Cheav Villa: Thank you Bang Thy. Good come in and out  :D _/\_

2019 Jan 11 13:41:49
Johann: Sadhu

2019 Jan 11 13:13:35
Ieng Puthy: 🙏🏻ជំរាបសួរបងប្អូនធម្មមិត្តទាំងអស់គ្នា chumreap sour Dhamma friends !  May all have a good evening

2019 Jan 11 13:04:15
Ieng Puthy: ករុណា ព្រះអង្គ Bhante 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

2019 Jan 09 17:17:52
Cheav Villa: Bhante  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2019 Jan 09 16:12:53
Johann: Nyom Villa

2019 Jan 09 05:06:55
Johann: Nyom Puthy

2019 Jan 09 00:43:24
Johann: Sadhu

2019 Jan 08 16:15:17
Ieng Puthy: 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻ករុណាថ្វាយបង្គំ​ព្រះអង្គ​ Khemakumara Bhante

2019 Jan 08 16:13:20
Ieng Puthy: 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 ករុណាថ្វាយបង្គំ​ព្រះអង្គ​ Inddanano Bhante

2019 Jan 08 16:11:09
Ieng Puthy: 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 កូរុណាថ្វាយបង្គំ​ព្រះអង្គ​ vandami Bhente

2019 Jan 08 12:48:21
Moritz: May all have a good evening _/\_ Chom reap leah _/\_

2019 Jan 08 12:38:37
Moritz: :) Sayun suesday _/\_

2019 Jan 08 12:34:56
Cheav Villa: Thank you Master Moritz _/\_ Well and unwell are welcoming  :D

2019 Jan 08 12:22:05
Johann: Good to read and Sadhu

2019 Jan 08 12:17:08
Moritz: I am fine. Thanks. I hope Bhante and everyone around is well as well   _/\_

2019 Jan 08 12:11:29
Johann: Master Moritz. How is Nyom?

2019 Jan 08 12:07:29
Moritz: I think this design with shoutbox on top is a good expedient solution.

2019 Jan 08 12:06:02
Moritz: hello everyone

2019 Jan 08 12:05:58
Moritz: _/\_ Vandami Bhante,

2019 Jan 06 15:31:56
Khemakumara: It is going better!  Day by day  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2019 Jan 06 14:36:43
Johann: Bhante, how is Bhantes health?

2019 Jan 05 15:54:04
Cheav Villa: Bhante  _/\_ Kana realized that's reasonable

2019 Jan 05 15:29:43
Cheav Villa: កូណាថ្វាយបង្គំ​ព្រះអង្គ​ Inddanano  _/\_

2019 Jan 05 15:16:21
Johann: Bhante  _/\_, kana dwai bongum

2019 Jan 05 15:13:22
Johann:
trust that's correct. ?

2019 Jan 05 14:50:30
Johann: ", likewise/similar Br{e}a(hma): sublime one, master, Sir, lord. និង nàŋ: and, further.

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Author Topic: [Q&A] I want to leave my mother (The "bad" mother and "lucky" daughter)  (Read 394 times)

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Offline Johann

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  • Gender: Male
  • Date of ordination/Datum der Ordination.: 20140527
I want to leave my mother

As I just starting to learn about Buddhism and the methods of be free from samsara. I have confusion about my relationship and my mother. I am 24 yo now- I feel like I have enough of being used by my mother. When I was 1 week old she gave me to another family to look after. She paid them tho. She never taking care of all my siblings inc me. She is sex worker and my dad was a lazy man who did nothing but spend my mother money. Instead of saving money for her kids, she went to another island with young guys to spend the money from properties etc. she sold me (not technically) to 50yo man who is her client,but he didn’t know that I was her daughter. She asked me to go there AGAIN after the sexual assault happen a day before, just to get a phone that he willing to give for an apology of his behaviour, but he did it again. My mom laughed and disgust when i told her what happened.

When I started to build up my life on my own, she know I have more money than all my other siblings so she asked me to send and give her money(weekly or monthly). The money goes somewhere, I dunno where but it’s a lot for food expenses. Now I am in Australia studying with my hard work and she still depend on me to live, just like what she did in her whole life. Instead of giving up on her, I show her the good path n to become a better person but she always says “I was born like this, it’s a habit, don’t tell me what’s wrong n right, cause I know” over and over again.

Last month, she asked for my help and I don’t have anything cause I just pay my school but she doesn’t understand so I asked my friends for help, and she said “it’s embarrassing to have a daughter who live in another country, but can’t support her mother” so I just said to her,”enough, enough doing this to me, if you believe what you believe is right then keep doing that, but I don’t want to be part of it” and I never call or text her since.

I truly don’t want to be in her life anymore, she is 50yo. She had 3x stroke and she stil doesn’t changes. I accept the way she is but I don’t her to be part of my life, I don’t care if someday I live on the street again, as long as she stop to using me.

What should I do ??? Try again ?? I forgive her. Should I back and apologise because I choose my happiness?? I need a spiritual answer ! I’m lost.

Venerable members of the Sangha,
walking in front Fellows in leading the holly life.

  _/\_  _/\_  _/\_

In Respect of the Triple Gems, Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha, in Respect of the Elders of the community  _/\_ , my person tries to answer this question. Please, may all knowledgeable Venerables and Dhammika, out of compassion, correct my person, if something is not correct and fill also graps, if something is missing.

Valued Upasaka, Upasika, Aramika(inis),
dear Readers and Visitors,

 *sgift*





Young woman, your current situation like before as well, is not for sure, can chance even that very moment. So when ever there is something possible to be given, give, at least, just what is given is not lost while short comfort is. How much has been given to you? What can be said as having gained without suffering and sacrifies by others at fist place? Not anything, or?

What ever you can do and give without doing something wrong for the sake of your parents is good done. What ever does neither harm one self nor others is always good to use to share. What ever is gained proper and is rightly yours: gain and share with best wishes.

Once one has been worse, not a little aware of what has been given without any real need to do it, not even to carry for month, give body and birth. Even if not perfect as it could be, one owes much, not easy to repay.

Don't fall into arrogance and greed or even without proper gratidude (as so many people easy become when they are or feel more securce then their previous supporters, yet forgetting that their situation now is also not a lasting, not sure) and it's not wrong to give back with joy and even with more wisdom as having been given.

 

Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sammā-sambuddhassa

"Monks, I will teach you the level of a person of no integrity and the level of a person of integrity. Listen & pay close attention. I will speak."

"As you say, lord," the monks responded.

The Blessed One said, "Now what is the level of a person of no integrity? A person of no integrity is ungrateful & unthankful. This ingratitude, this lack of thankfulness, is advocated by rude people. It is entirely on the level of people of no integrity. A person of integrity is grateful & thankful. This gratitude, this thankfulness, is advocated by civil people. It is entirely on the level of people of integrity."

{II,iv,2} "I tell you, monks, there are two people who are not easy to repay. Which two? Your mother & father. Even if you were to carry your mother on one shoulder & your father on the other shoulder for 100 years, and were to look after them by anointing, massaging, bathing, & rubbing their limbs, and they were to defecate & urinate right there [on your shoulders], you would not in that way pay or repay your parents. If you were to establish your mother & father in absolute sovereignty over this great earth, abounding in the seven treasures, you would not in that way pay or repay your parents. Why is that? Mother & father do much for their children. They care for them, they nourish them, they introduce them to this world. But anyone who rouses his unbelieving mother & father, settles & establishes them in conviction; rouses his unvirtuous mother & father, settles & establishes them in virtue; rouses his stingy mother & father, settles & establishes them in generosity; rouses his foolish mother & father, settles & establishes them in discernment: To this extent one pays & repays one's mother & father."


See also: MN 110; SN 7.14; AN 4.73; Iti 106.

One who gives is never poor while even the riches person without real generosity and lack of gratidute is the most poor person in this world.

Who do you like to be? A rich outwardly or a real rich who does not care of what people without integrity might think and say? It's all of your choice, short and cheap happiness or a heart at peace, fulfilled it's obligations and at lasting joy in remembering his/her gratitude, generosity and virtue, equal the Devas and great men.

Be aware that you ask here in an enviroment of people with grave wrong view even suggesting foolish or bad thing in the name of Buddha, Dhamma, Sangha, so generally you must be very gifted not to simply follow fools advocating in accordiance with also you own defilements and tenencies to greed, aversion and delution.

One feeling deeply obligated to ones parents, even if a mass of fools laugh at it, even if meeting many burdens, is by far more secure to gain real wealth as the modern and western fools, how ever sucessful they might appear for now.

 

Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sammā-sambuddhassa

"These three things have been promulgated by wise people, by people of integrity. Which three? Generosity... going-forth [from the home life]... & service to one's mother & father. These three things have been promulgated by wise people, by people of integrity."
Quote from: AN 3.45

No one fails in recognize someone with even slight doubts "but" and "if's" in this regard as fools and one does always good to avoid them like fire and poision.

 

Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sammā-sambuddhassa

  • "To support one's father and mother; to cherish one's wife and children, and to be engaged in peaceful occupations — this is the highest blessing.
  • "Liberality, righteous conduct, rendering assistance to relatives, and performance of blameless deeds — this is the highest blessing.

So it's up to you of whom you go after: those who abound their parents and previous supporters by their systems in rest houses, leave them up to others or people of integrity and still functioning society, carrying and having a heart, feeling obligated for even small gifts.

It's easy and quick managed to join into the foolish-hood.


Here are some usefull teaching in general on this topic:
 
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A starter into Dhamma is gratitude and without it, there is no progress on the path, mostly even no reason to seek for the path.

Look at certain, even most answers here and if a little wise you may find out in what ugly society you actually have found yourself. If not seeing know yourself as having become or be another with less hope.

Western or modern minded people, being not blessed to live among people with even basic right view, especially those "Vipassana-householders" with no gratitude and virtue at all, are not capable to even grasp basics no matter how much they might learn, know or practice with corrupted hearts and lack of any real integrity and good principles.

 
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Gratitude is a sign of a good person. And it is an attitude that gives rise to more goodness within us... Karma & Gratitude

At least, to some aspects of your qiestion and if willing to be or become a good friend for all others, you may consider marks of good people also here:

 

- Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sammā-sambuddhassa -

"A friend endowed with these three qualities is worth associating with. Which three? He/she gives what is hard to give, does what is hard to do, endures (pardon) what is hard to endure (pardon). A friend endowed with these three qualities is worth associating with."

— AN 3.133
This post and Content has come to be by Dhamma-Dana and so is given as it       Dhamma-Dana: Johann

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