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Author Topic: [Q&A] Permission of your parents in your renunciation  (Read 183 times)

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Online Johann

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[Q&A] Permission of your parents in your renunciation
« on: February 26, 2018, 04:14:50 PM »
Quote from: Upasaka Kalpesh Mange on BSE
Permission of your parents in your renunciation

have thought about this since a long time, and now I am ready for renunciation, accept teachings and practise Buddhism in a monastery. I told my parents about these future plans. They said they were disappointed in me & that I was running away from my responsibilities & will ruin their and my life if I follow this path.

Since they've made me the person I am today, I feel the need to ask for permission before I leave. They won't allow me.

What would be the best way to solve this, maybe a middle path?

And also because of the question here , carefully, wise & compassioned and obligated answered by Upasaka Moritz . Sadhu!

Venerable members of the Sangha,
walking in front Fellows in leading the holly life.

  _/\_  _/\_  _/\_

In Respect of the Triple Gems, Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha, in Respect of the Elders of the community  _/\_ , my person tries to answer this question. Please, may all knowledgeable Venerables and Dhammika, out of compassion, correct my person, if something is not correct and fill also graps, if something is missing.

Valued Upasaka, Upasika, Aramika(inis),
dear Readers and Visitors,


(Previous answer can be found here )

pasaka Kalpesh Mange, you told:

I have thought about this since a long time, and now I am ready for renunciation, accept teachings and practise Buddhism in a monastery.

That is a very praiseworthy way one sees one parents, Sadhu! And a notion of a good sense of gratitude and right view.

Ruben gave some information, which are at large not so wrong. How ever, take always away notions of "I have a right" or "it should be this and that". If it work not now, it will work by time. When your parents get more and more understood your ways, while practicing based on right view where you are, they are more likely to understand.

When it comes to a point where you are no more able to live a householders live, you parents will see that and seeing it, they will ask, beeing asked, is a good place to explain deeper and make things understood.

Since it contains a lot of stories, aside the rules of the Bhikkhus (not someones rights!), it's maybe worthy to give the Mahavagga I  an extended read.

Meanwhile, something to rejoice with , take part on merits: a certain person, just few days ago, joyfull shared his mothers now joyful agreement, with his soon going forth. Something really not common in regard of intented to really going forth, not just changing house with monastery, which is often really just a "seek for 'easy' life" and welness.

The case of the Buddhas son, and the grieve of his mother, and the request of Ven. Ananda, which was the reason for the rule not to give going forth, one who has no permission from the parents, was in regard of a Samanera and such as "Anagarika" does not exist within the Dhamma-Vinaya, but is actually also a Samanera (one who asked for going forth under the Buddhas teaching). So not only out of this, it's good to seek a good and proper way, not stubborn and proper to time and facts.

As told, if there are no more ways to live a housholders life, there will be ways anyway. It's possible not wrong at all if spending much and most time avalible in contact with the monks, try to make service and maybe it's possible to get your parents to attend often or part time.

At least, althought maybe not that welcome to hear/read, its always good to speak with good and possible also knowledgeable monks, at first place and if avaliable (which requires to let go of usuall "lazy" ways) in all Dhamma-Vinaya cases, specially in regard of ordination.

There are many personal things, which those could probably handle with, which "in all cases seen from outward"-accounts are not able to serve propably best. One would not easy find someone with real refuge in the Juwels in this spheres, which does on the otherside not mean that ones Nissaya does not have its ways anyway, if walking with pure heart and certain right view, sticking firm to the basics.

Best possible strength, effort and endure for success in regard of path, fruits and the mastering of the holy life, where ever being. Watching after giving good causes. Effects come by themselves, just a matter of crossing the soil for it, sooner or later.


My person has to add (just translating that part of the Mahavagga), that the Original wish after the rule, that those desire the going forth, need permission, to be faultless ordained by a Bhikkhu, was raised from Buddhas father and the rule does not cover only the acceptance as Bhikkhu, but also all other forms of going into homelessness, going forth (pabbājeyya) under the Buddha: eg. Samanera and technical Anagarika (who are actually Samanera) as well.

See: Rāhulavatthu - The Case of Rāhula .
This post and Content has come to be by Dhamma-Dana and so is given as it       Dhamma-Dana: Johann

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Today at 05:20:12 AM
This "wiki"-like backup tool is meant as a outwardy insurance that one does not be afraid that anything possible good can be desroyed or made bad while looking for cleaning it. So worry at all, kamma does not dissapear. No need to fear to make good deeds, knowing that.


Today at 04:03:35 AM
And there is no intention to just make a museum out of a working and concentration camp, since the Dhamma can not be understood by just looking on forms but by learning and experiance skillful deeds.


Today at 04:00:47 AM
Post-history: http://sangham.net/index.php/topic,1164.0.html (but there is no notification system). My person uses to make a @mention , off topic "/me" in the OP.


Today at 03:49:28 AM
Or to simply make a new post. No need to be shy in doing good things. It's not a museum, it's a working and concentration place. Mudita.


Today at 03:47:57 AM
There is such as a "wiki" backup function in all posts, Nyom Danilo. Good is to use the mention option, at the places where making changes @Johann , that it gets not "lost".


Today at 03:02:46 AM
I have a backup of the original post in any case. I might review the second post next time. Very insightful teaching. _/\_


Today at 03:01:35 AM
I've recently fixed many words and sentences of the first post of the thread "Debts, but to whom?". It take me some time trying to figure out the meaning of some sentences. So it would be good if Bhante could check if the original intended meaning of the post still intact. I have a backup of the ori


Today at 01:57:28 AM
_/\_ _/\_ _/\_


Today at 12:01:09 AM
One leading to peaks pointing downward so that aging, sickness and death can be seen, know him/her as a sage, a giver of release.


March 18, 2018, 11:57:30 PM
One leading people to papanca, promoting rejoicing in objectification as the heart wood, increases to fields of corpse in the world.


March 18, 2018, 12:03:14 AM
Good night _/\_


March 17, 2018, 11:59:14 PM
Vandami, Bhante _/\_


March 17, 2018, 11:51:37 PM


March 16, 2018, 01:19:17 AM


March 15, 2018, 09:53:07 PM
 :-* ich wünschen allen einen verdienstvollen uposatha  :-*


March 14, 2018, 11:19:11 PM
Sounds like a good idea to rest. I will be taking a break from the internet for a while i feel detached a lot from the worldly feminisms and all. It is wonderful not to be lusting, walking the streets with lowered gaze, delighting in meditation... I fear it compromises me to even think about the pol


March 14, 2018, 11:10:27 PM


March 14, 2018, 10:58:38 PM
Marcel, Morits, Upasaka X, it's time to break up this auspicious coming in touch now also for my person. Observe, remember, how you have been yesterday an now and guess of what will be tomorrow probably... maybe just not sure.


March 14, 2018, 10:06:46 PM
Sadhu, _/\_

may Bhante have a peaceful day.

Chom reap sour.


March 14, 2018, 09:58:42 PM
 :-* :-* :-*


March 14, 2018, 09:55:00 PM
O yes... will be a long day, this yesterday, but possible a remorseless.


March 14, 2018, 09:46:45 PM
Vandami Bhante,
good evening (morning in Cambodia?).



March 14, 2018, 03:03:38 AM
Wie war es gestern? Wie geht es heute?

How was it yesterday? How are you today?


March 06, 2018, 02:24:03 PM
Nyom Jens.


March 05, 2018, 02:25:22 PM
 :-* erhwürdiger bhante johann  :-*


March 05, 2018, 02:17:57 PM
Nyom Marcel


March 01, 2018, 12:52:02 AM
Sadhu, eine des Magha-puja allen jenen die sie heute Begehen.


February 28, 2018, 09:48:58 PM
 :-* allen ein verdienstvollen uposatha tag :-*


February 24, 2018, 02:37:41 AM


February 24, 2018, 01:31:25 AM


February 24, 2018, 12:50:00 AM
Es ist sehr selten, ungewöhnlich und erfreulich, zur Mitfreude anregend, junge Menschen Kloster aufsuchend zu sehen.


February 23, 2018, 02:56:54 PM
Namasakara, Bhante _/\_


February 23, 2018, 04:04:45 AM


February 23, 2018, 02:16:16 AM
Nyom Danilo.
(Atma will leave for a while for his almsround.)


February 22, 2018, 10:08:41 PM
 :-* ehrwürdiger bhante johann, ja ich ahb die khmer tastatur installiert! ich werde in den nächsten tagen text teilen und berichten!  :-*


February 22, 2018, 12:34:06 PM
Hat Nyom Marcel schon eine Khmer Tastatur installiert?


February 22, 2018, 12:32:21 PM
So ist das. Wenn Nahrung aufgebraucht, dann ist da für eine Weile Ende, und Wiedergeboren, es wieder brennen wird. Zum endgültigen legen des Feuers sind wir hier, oder? Pfau ruft, Gecko balzt, alles in Ordnung, oder?


February 22, 2018, 12:16:35 PM
 :-* ehrwürdiger bhante johann, letzte nacht davon geträumt, dass es beim ashram brennt!!
ich hoffe, das feuer hat sich gelegt  :-*


February 22, 2018, 11:43:37 AM
Nyom Marcel.


February 22, 2018, 09:08:57 AM


February 22, 2018, 08:49:51 AM
Möge Regen kommen und alle beschützt werden


February 22, 2018, 01:59:08 AM


February 22, 2018, 01:04:19 AM
ich  wünsche einen verdienstvollen uposatha!! all jende für morgen auch einen hervorragenden uposatha!!!
 :-* :-* :-*


February 19, 2018, 06:00:04 PM
Much joy and releasing touches here, Nyom Chris, my person will leave for today, befor it becomes tomorrow, and rest a little.


February 14, 2018, 03:57:33 PM
Sadhu, auch jenen, die ihn morgen, auch Chinesisches Neujahrsfest, begehen, einhalten.


February 14, 2018, 01:37:51 PM
einen verdienstvollen uposatha allen!!!


February 10, 2018, 12:31:09 PM
Sadhu! Mag er fruchtvoll verlaufen sein. Gerade wieder Möglichkeit erhalten, in dieser Welt hier beizutragen.


February 08, 2018, 12:46:43 PM
 :-* :-* :-* ich wünsche allen einen verdienstvollen uposatha  :-* :-* :-*


February 05, 2018, 02:19:14 PM

 :-* :-* :-* sadhu,sadhu,sadhu

 :-* :-* :-*


February 02, 2018, 12:38:06 PM
Meinereiner ist so schnell ie noch nie genesen. Die Symptome des Befalls nur 2 Tage, und die üblichen 5 Tage um das Medikament zu überstehen. Atma ist gerade wohl auf und auch das ist wie für alle nicht sicher. Nutze den Tag heißt vorallem über Alter, Krankheit und Tod, wie Alternative z

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