Suppose someone asks you to do something that you're on the fence about doing, but you agree to it anyway. Now suppose time passes and you regret the initial agreement and decide not to follow through on it, but give some sort of explanation for why you aren't. Do you consider that a form of lying, since you told the person something that you didn't follow through on?
Valued Upasaka, Upasika,
dear listeners,
Atma, my person tries to answer these questions. Pardon my bad English skills and my person's less appealing talking, especially in recording by not seeing another's face.
Question in regard of breaking promises.
The question in regard of changing one's mind.
In regard of breaking precepts and doing unskillful things is actually a very important matter, especially in Western Buddhists. Why? Because there is much of teaching people in equanimity and try to keep them happy instead of to charge rightly and to be honest. So this tendency more into the direction of "let them feel good" rather than to encourage and nourish signs of higher vijja, and it is often very sad to see when people are actually seeing some problems, and at the moment they think about their actions, others come and say: Oh, it's no problem. Don't think so. And in this way they cut off a matter that is very important, to be honest, simply honest, and to take the precepts very serious.
Is it a break of the precepts if one does not keep to one's promise?
My person thinks it's clear if you have a thought that you will not keep the promise and you tell the promise you deliberately cheat people, and such is a really nasty lie. There are maybe lighter occasions where we often lie in such a way [ ... ?] There are situations where one uses lying and promising to things to be light (?). In a way we make, one makes promises to gain honour, or to win a favour. Either from the receiver of that promise, or people watching that act. You see such every day in politics, if you're someone who watches news and is still interested in such things.
So, to make a promise means to make a contract. When you give a promise you make a contract. That's it. Because other people rely on your promise. And relying on your promise, if you break it, the other part loses. He can lose a little, or he can lose very much. He can even lose his life, sticking to your promise. So breaking a promise is not a light thing. Really not a light thing. When you change your mind later your really have to be careful what you are doing. It's like if you have a contract with a company, for example you take on a car by leasing. (If the right word is leasing in English?) You take the car first, you use it, and you pay later. Is it possible that you say: "Oh, I don't like it. I'd like to have another one." Or whatever? So as soon as you have a contract, you have to stick to the contract. And if you really like to leave the contract, you have to tell it, and search for ways how to solve it.
24:52
When looking exact, you will not find easy excuses that you cannot fulfill a certain promise.
25:18
Know that this is a very ... for the most... That is actually one reason most monks would not really get verbal[ly] in contact with you. So when you offer something, that you will make something, or do something, good monks would not verbal[ly] agree with it. They just would stay silent. Why? - so that you have most possibilities that you don't come into the problem of promise. It's a matter of deep impact.
So, of course there are reasons not to keep a promise. It is like with a contract. There are reasons to quit the contract, to step out of the contract. And similar it is with the promise you made. But it's not possible in a way of just: "Oh, a change of my mind." If such is happening, actually it happens often, it is very needed to tell it. To say: "I will not come", and to ask for forgiveness.
Nevertheless the karma of the act is still there. But you and also the other will feel better if knowing what's the fact. So others will not continue to build on it. For breaking a promise can cause very much damage. So it's good not to take it very light and easy. And it's good to make not much promises. And if, keep to it. You will not only be honoured in this life, but also in the next existence. There is just one situation where you are nearly in the right to break a worldly promise you had made. That is the time when you start to walk the path. Especially when you go into the homeless life. To give up everything, to change the mind really, in a helpful way for everyone, is a reason that you may not stick to your promises.
There might be many people that are not happy with you.
Werte Upasaka, Upasika,
liebe Zuhörer,
Atma, meine Person, versucht, diese Fragen zu beantworten. Verzeihen Sie mein schlechtes Englisch und meiner Person weniger ansprechende Redenweise, besonders beim Aufnehmen ohne das Gesicht des Gegenübers zu sehen.
Namo tassa baghavato arahatto sammasambuddhassa
Namo tassa baghavato arahatto sammasambuddhassa
Namo tassa baghavato arahatto sammasambuddhassa
Frage im Bezug auf das Brechen von Versprechen
Die Frage in Bezug auf "es sich anders überlegen"
24:52
Wenn Sie genau hinsehen, werden Sie keine einfachen Entschuldigungen dafür finden, dass Sie ein gewisses Versprechen nicht einhalten können.
25:18
Seien Sie sich bewusst, dass dies ein sehr ... für die meisten... dass dies in der Tat einer der Gründe dafür ist, dass die meisten Mönche nicht verbal mit Ihnen in Kontakt treten würden. Also wenn Sie etwas anbieten, dass Sie etwas machen werden, oder tun werden, dann würden gute Mönche dem nicht verbal zustimmen. Sie würden bloß schweigen. Warum? - damit Sie die meisten Möglichkeiten haben, dass Sie nicht in das Problem eines Versprechens geraten. Es ist eine Angelegenheit mit tiefgreifenden Auswirkungen.
Also natürlich gibt es Gründe, ein Versprechen nicht einzuhalten. Es ist wie ein Vertrag. Es gibt Gründe, einen Vertrag zu kündigen, aus dem Vertrag auszutreten. Und ähnlich ist es mit dem Versprechen, das Sie gemacht haben. Aber es ist nicht möglich in einer Weise wie bloß: "Oh, eine Änderung des Geistes." Wenn so etwas passiert, tatsächlich passiert das sehr oft, ist es sehr nötig, es zu sagen. Zu sagen: "Ich werde nicht kommen", und um Vergebung zu bitten.
Nichtsdestotrotz, ist das Karma des Handlung immer noch da. Aber Sie, und auch der andere, werden sich besser fühlen, wissend, was Sache ist. ...
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sammā-sambuddhassa
"Während Ihr eine körperliche [gleich für, geistig und verbal] Tat vollzieht, solltet Ihr diese gegenbetrachten: 'Diese körperliche Tat, die ich vollziehe - führt sie zu Selbst-Leid, zum Leid für andere oder zu beidem? Ist sie eine ungeschickte körperliche Tat, mit schmerzvollen Nachwirkungen, schmerzvollen Ergebnissen?' Wenn Ihr mit dem Gegenbetrachten wißt, daß sie zu Selbst-Leid, zu Leid für andere oder zu beidem führt... solltet Ihr sie aufgeben. Aber wenn Ihr mit dem Gegenbetrachten wißt, daß diese nicht... mögt [gibt es keinen Grund für ein legitimes Brechen eines Versprechens] Ihr damit fortsetzten.
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sammā-sambuddhassa
"Und was ist rechte Entschlossenheit? Entschlossen in Entsagung zu sein, in Freiheit von Feindschaft, in Nichtverletzen: Dies, Bhikkhus, wird rechte Entschlossenheit genannt.
— SN 45.8